Thanksgiving

Many of you have been writing on your Facebook wall this month everything you are thankful for. Of course, many of those things I am thankful for too.... My family, my friends, my job, my house, running water, etc....

But let me be honest... This year I was really looking forward to something spectacular. Something I missed last year. Stuffing. Yep, call it what you want folks, stuffing, dressing, delicious goodness.... It is beyond my favorite part of Thanksgiving. And my Dad's is amazing.

I missed this favorite little side dish last year. You see, last year I had to work on Thanksgiving and even though I gave SPECIFIC INSTRUCTIONS to save me some stuffing.... It was gone when I got home. I was devastated.

This year.... I was so excited when the HUGE bowl of stuffing got put on the table right in front of me. Of course, I loaded up on the little delicacy. There was only one problem.... Appetizers. I had eaten so much freakin' appetizers I only got about 3 bites of this wonderful thing called stuffing before I filled up.

Lola called me to assist her after my 3 bites and I remember someone asking me, "Browyn, are you all done? Can I clear your plate?"  Thinking back to that big bowl of stuffing that was in front of me I of course said, "yes," knowing I could eat stuffing later as well as bring some home for leftovers.

As you can imagine my complete surprise when I walked into the kitchen as my father was dumping my fabulous stuffing into the "compost pile"!!! I immediately jumped to its rescue and..... Though I'm not proud, started grabbing the stuffing with my bare hands out of the compost and back into the bowl. Don't worry, there was enough to save to make me a couple good plates of my favorite dish. However, I'm not that proud that my husband now calls me the "caveman lady" for scrounging out stuffing out of the trash.....

**** Update****

After writing this blog on Friday morning, I began to salivate,  and opened up the refrigerator for a tasty morning treat.  I pulled out bags full of turkey, cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, brussel sprouts, and even apple & pumpkin pie.... but no stuffing.  I immediately started hyperventilating and couldn't text my family members fast enough.....  but this text did manage to get out to those that counted....

"So, apparently one of you fools took my stuffing last night in your leftovers.  Just so you know... Dad threw it in the compost pile and I dug it out with my bare hands to save it.... So you probably don't want it.  Text me back ASAP so it can be returned to its proper owner."

Luckily, the thief fessed up and it is now safely hidden in my refrigerator... or tummy.....

Motherhood.

Recent events in my life has got me thinking back to when I first had Brady.  Don't get me wrong, after trying for 7 solid months I was ecstatic that the boy decided to join our family (and yes, I realize this isn't a "long" time for many of you out there...), but there is a certain feeling that comes over you when you see that plus sign in the window of the pregnancy test.  Most of it was "FINALLY".... but there was still a lot of it that said "oh no, there is no going back now, am I REALLY ready for this?!?"  And, there is really nothing left to do, but move forward.

After having my first child, I remember sitting at home and being SO EXCITED that he was here, but being lost in this new role of being a mother... and not quite knowing WHAT to do with these emotions.  I was a completely different person then I had ever been before.  The crazy girl I was in college was not here anymore, and I immediately didn't not want my child to ever know about that person I used to be.  I was no longer my husband's "cute wife", but now a "mother."  Did he now see me in a different light?   My friends often commented (and still do from time to time) about how they miss the "old Browyn."  In be beginning of my "motherhood" this comment really bothered me.  I remember thinking, "What??  The old Browyn is gone?  No she's not!  I just need to go out with them and show them she's still here!"  The thing is though, when I would go out and party like I DIDN'T have a baby waiting for me at home, I felt judged by everyone around me.  I felt like they were all looking at me saying, "Doesn't she have a kid at home?  Why is she up so late/drinking so much/acting so crazy like?"  There was no happy medium for me.  I was either sad at home thinking everyone thought I was lame, or out thinking everyone thought I was a bad parent.  AND.... my kid wasn't old enough to help me out sort out any of these emotions.

Somewhere I read it takes a full year for you to fully become "comfortable" with being a parent.  I agree with this.  It wasn't everyone telling me what or how to do things regarding my baby..... It was feeling like I lost myself.  Somewhere between my "old self" and getting that plus sign in the pregnancy test.... I lost myself.... my whole world changed.  It is a huge adjustment not living your life for just yourself.... but knowing that someone else's life would directly be affected if anything happened to you or if you made bad decisions.  Just the responsibility of it in itself was almost devastating to think about in the beginning. 

I say this all now, because I was fully expecting to go through some sort of similar emotional roller coaster when Lola was born.  I didn't.  I know that my friends that don't understand where the "old Browyn" went do not understand that I have two amazing children that have taken center stage, who make me a much better person then the "old Browyn" ever did or was.  I know the people that judge me when I go out with my friends do not know what a wonderful mother I am to both my kids every waking moment.  How I tuck them in at night, thanking God for all our blessings and singing Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star not once, but twice, every night.  How Thanksgiving hasn't even come but I can't help but give my son an early Christmas present because I know how much he is going to love it.  How I sit up at night thinking of all the fun things that they would love when they wake up in the morning.... and how when I get home from a long day at work I have to go in and wake them up, just to give them a kiss and tell them I love them, and that they are my world, because they are.  They may not know that I don't go out often, and that when I do, they that must mean they are very special people, to get me away from the people that I hold closest to my heart.  And if they are the kind of people that don't understand who the "new Browyn" is, they aren't people that I care to know their opinion anyway.

Being a parent changes you.  Forever.  Yes, the "old" you may leave, but the "new" you that is coming is so much more spectacular then you ever thought you could imagine.  There is nobody else in your life that can make you want to be a better person then your own child.  There is nobody else in the world that you can love more.... and nobody else in the world that I would give up the "old" for the "new" in a heartbeat.

Lolzapalooza

For those of you that don't know, my littlest sister, Bridget, has been watching Lola since I've gone back to work.  It's been wonderful for me, knowing that Lola is in the care of her Auntie, and getting a million pictures throughout the day.  Thing is, Bridget was only watching Lola temporarily for us until she found a "real job."  Well, that time has come, and Bridget starts her "real job" on Monday.  Ho hum.  It was good while it lasted..... especially because Lola has been so terrible.  Okay.... not terrible... just refusing to eat from a bottle.... at all.  When I first went back to work, it would be a good day if Lola ate 6oz during my 12-13 hour shift.  Now, she's a pro at the bottle.  I'm not going to lie though, if Lola had started daycare and they told me she only ate 6oz all day, I would have freaked out.  Knowing that she had one-on-one with her Aunt Bridget... I knew that it wasn't because she wasn't trying.  Anyway... here are just a few tidbits of our text conversations over the last 3 months.....

"ive been sitting on the ground for almost an hour now trying to get her to eat this bottle"

"lolzapalooza is sad."
"liiiiiike nothing makes her stop crying"
"I feel like a bad babysitter because I'm just watching her cry"
"I think she's asleep but she is still crying"

"Lola has a spider crawling on her!! I hope its not radioactive!" (It was Brady's fake spider)

"I don't understand your daughter. she's hard to read"

"won't eat. won't go in any of her chairs. was only happy when I held her a certain way"

"I'm gonna put some of your boob milk in my coffee"

"she pooped as I was taking off her diaper, so fun"

"lolz hates tummy time"

me: "has she pooped today?"
"oh yes.  yes she has.  I heard gurgling noises from her butt"
me: "Did you clean it?!?"
"saving it for Austin"

"come home"

"your daughter is crying"
"make her stop"
"save me"

"I think Lola misses you.  come home"

"she looks real sleepy now.  but she is on tummy time. and not enjoying life"

"your daughter is a mess"

"do you have any alcohol"

"dreaming of tequila"

"your daughter hates me"

"I taught Brady how to say GOP criminals"


"Lola loooooooooves scrubs"

"tell Lola to sleep because I could use a nap"

"your daughter will not drink. she is starving tho. stares at bottle.  opens her mouth for it. but when i put it in her mouth she just cries and just moves her tongue around, not sucking. (that's what she said)"

"I think your daughter is bipolar"

"Lola is insane."
(5 minutes later)
"insane."

"why doesn't ryan gosling love me??"
(5 minutes later)
"sigh."
(3 hours later)
"sigh"

"watching BUffy.  she's REAL into it!"

"episode ended.  no more episodes.  she's real upset"

"guess who pooped on me.  I'll give you a hint.  the name starts with "lo" and ends with "la""
"today is going to be a long day.  just come home now."


She also sends me tons of pictures like these.......  :)

 

 

 

 

Love you Aunt Bridget.  Thanks for helping us out for the last few months.  xoxo.

 

A new take to a Wedding Gift

So a few months ago some great friends of ours got married. We were unable to make the wedding because we were having a baby instead. We wanted to get them a special present besides the generic gifts from Bed Bath & Beyond. (especially since not only did we not make the wedding & Austin was the best man, but now it was PAST the wedding & we still hadn't sent them anything!)

I saw this awesome idea in Pintrest that I wanted to give a go at, but the link did not link up to the picture I had pinned, so I had to figure it out for myself.

We found the lyrics to the first song they danced to at the wedding. This song was especially important because it was Phish, and they spent their honeymoon going to Phish concerts.

I went to Hobby Lobby & got some heavy duty drawing paper and tried my best to make a tree like the picture had shown. Trust me, this took many tries to get it too look even somewhat like a tree.

Once I got the tree, I made lines all across it so I would be writing in a straight line.

Then, of course, I filled in the lyrics on the line with pen.

Then, I realized I 1.) ran out of room for all the lyrics and 2.) I wrote way too big for it to look neat.

So, I re wrote it all out with pencil on a new "tree", but started at the trunk of the tree and wrote all the lyrics in reverse. Since they would really be able to pick up on The lyrics on the trunk of the tree, I wanted to make sure the trunk looked great and you could read the lyrics good. This part took me the longest. I wrote them all out in pencil, but imagine writing a sentence by writing the last word first, and writing right to left.

Once it was all done in pencil I went over it in ink, let it dry, and erased all my pencil marks.

Then I cut out my tree.

After my tree was cut I put it on another piece of paper like I saw in the picture. I got a couple opinions and decided that I was going to do a blue border around the tree to make it stand out a little more and give the tree more definition.


Then I cut out hearts and experimented on where they would look the best "hanging" from the tree.

In the picture they had the initials of the bride and groom written on each heart, but I liked their names and wedding day written on the bottom better instead.

Then, I ordered a picture frame off Amazon. I normally would have just bought a frame from the store, but I wanted to keep all the shipping materials that amazon would supply so we could safely send it up to Nebraska where the bride & groom live.


I was originally going to make one of these with me & Austin's wedding song because I thought they looked so cool, but this project was a little more time consuming than what I had originally thought, so that will have to wait for another day!